Category Archives: Uncategorized
Another Ill-Mannered Appliance
My fridge is a little bit broken. Not full-on, throw out your food and scream at the landlord broken, but a little. It’s been not that cold in there for days. I threw out the milk on Monday; we stopped … Continue reading
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Phyllo or Filo? You Be The Judge!
There is a charming Greek coffeeshop on Ninth Avenue just north of 44th Street. It’s named Poseidon, and according to the behind-the-counter-lady, has been at that location for 88 years. That makes it, by my calculation, the oldest Greek coffeeshop … Continue reading
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My Nashville Roast Beef Beef
Lunch Matters is proud to announce that I have discovered an idea hitherto unconsidered in all the history of the world, an idea which should make me famous and—if my pending deal to brand novelty t-shirts goes through—quite wealthy. Put … Continue reading
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A Happy Quarter-Pound
It’s been some time since I’ve written on here, but the clamoring masses should not blame me. Rather, they should blame what I’ve been eating, which is not my fault but that of the neighborhoods in which I’ve been dwelling. … Continue reading
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Staying Shut In
A combination of reportery deadlines and ferocious weather—the tree outside my window has spent all morning bombarding the ground with ice shards—have compelled me to spend the day inside. This is a problem because: I need to do my laundry. … Continue reading
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Winter Is A Rotten Child
Sleep, vi: The most wonderful pastime for a young man to engage in, short of training for the circus. Sheet, n: A most wondrous place for a young man to engage in the above pastime. Works best in pairs, which … Continue reading
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Turn Left At Manhattan, and On Until Morning
I’m going to get a donut. There’s a place on Manhattan Avenue—which because it is not on Manhattan is about ten minutes from my apartment—named Peter Pan Donuts. I know I am not the first man to discover this establishment, … Continue reading
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Ducks and Dolts Both Have Wet Feet
I am a well-meaning, helpful individual, and yet it is very important that I not touch your sink. As I write this, my roommate’s cat has climbed into the sink to eyeball a forest of glassware currently drying on a … Continue reading
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Less Lazy Today Than Yesterday
There is no human more pathetic than the man attempting to squeeze out the last morsels from a tube of toothpaste. Hands aching, teeth filthy, he curses himself for forgetting to go to the pharmacy that day, dooming himself to … Continue reading
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