Tag Archives: pronouncements
A Happy Quarter-Pound
It’s been some time since I’ve written on here, but the clamoring masses should not blame me. Rather, they should blame what I’ve been eating, which is not my fault but that of the neighborhoods in which I’ve been dwelling. … Continue reading
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Excuses!
I’d like to apologize for my spotty correspondence (wow! What a hard word to spell!) this semester. I swear—it’s not you, it’s me. I have been buried under a mountain of schoolwork, making it difficult to eat, much less write about it. … Continue reading
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Mild Excitement!
Mild excitement is, of course, the best kind. Lunch Matters—and by that I mean I—is back in an office, hard at work doing…well, something. I’ve only been here three minutes and they haven’t informed me yet. A return to employment … Continue reading
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Why Last Night Sucked (For You)
As New York City’s premier expert on “fun,” people often ask me for advice on planning their weekends. My tips seldom amount to more than “Greasy food and orgasms!” which may or may not be helpful, I’m not sure. But … Continue reading
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Hotter, Battered, Fresher, Stronger
Apologies for recent radio silence. Actual school work, as well as my friends’ surprising sense of entitlement that I sometimes spend time with them, has intervened. No matter—I’ve returned, and I’m scheming. In honor of the 40th anniversary of the … Continue reading
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How To Be a City Boy
A New Yorker isn’t just some dude who knows his way around town. The express stops of the Lexington Avenue line, the current exhibition at P.S.1, the names of three or four quiet Green Point bars—these could be taught by … Continue reading
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Hunger is the Best Farce
I was up early this morning, right around the cock crowed nine, intending a full day of activities beneficial to the human race. (By which I mean I was thinking of going to the liquor store.) Coffee gripped tightly, I … Continue reading
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Sea Change
I am not a man of extravagant taste — unless caviar shampoo counts as extravagant which I know it doesn’t — but I have been spending too much money. My chief habit? Lunch. The dopey soup and half sandwich I … Continue reading
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